Archive for parody

Juvenalia I

Posted in Literature, poetry with tags , , , , , , on March 24, 2009 by xugro

Occasional verse on dish washing

Ballad of the Dish Bitch, Caput II

From whence doth come that awful sound,
that screeches in my ear?
an angst-rid’n cry for miles around
is what one deaf could hear.

I travell’d up into a house
that had a bar of Oake;
a young chap cringed upon the porch:
his spirit burnt and broke.

“Lo!” I cried, as old men do,
“what causes this dismay?”
“I woke up from the night before,
and I’m ‘DISH BITCH’ today!”

“How now, you dog,” I then cried forth,
can such a thing be you?”
“I’ve not been ‘dish bitch’ for a week,
and now the worst is true.

“We draw our lots and time draws near
we lose us in her folds;
but when the hour for dishes comes
our incense turns to mold.”

“My God, young man, is it so bad,
that you appear as such?”
“Kind sir, the truth is I’ve seen worse,
and this is not so much.

Our weeks slashed by that fateful day
we’re fain to ‘void its pangs;
for whene’er it comes our way
we’re übercharged with angst.

The ‘bitch’ then wept a bitter tear,
and spoke a fiendish speech.
I know not whether to print it here
or keep it far from reach.

The danger of his words is such
that young ones should not hear;
such agèd wisdom in their minds
would turn their bliss to fear.

The “Bitch’s” Sonnet: “Of the Deceitful Brevity of Life”
(his translation of something by a certain Góngora) Continue reading

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Review: TJ’s Wasabi Tempura Seaweed Snacks

Posted in Reviews with tags , , , , , , on March 10, 2009 by xugro

Look: Comes in plastic package. Individual snacks look like waffle-cut seaweed fries.
Pour: Light brown with green overtones.
Nose: Hints of clay, sea breeze, elderflower, tobacco, and chocolate.
Mouthfeel: Fried battery taste at first, easing into pleasurable horseradish spice. Aftertaste of seaweed and bitterness.
Drinkability: Good to medium. Blends well with plain yogurt.
Serve with: fish, chicken, more seaweed, and pasta.

I was told that once a bag of these snacks was opened, it was impossible to not finish it in one sitting. That assessment, I can easily inform you, was not a little flawed. These are good snacks but tend to fill you up more than may have been desired. What if I just want 7 chips? Or 2 mini sushis? These snacks would not be a suitable replacement as they fill you up too much and the bitterness makes you simultaneously more hungry and full. They tend to cross the ever-so-delicate line between snacks and side dishes. Not in a good way, either.

This recipe I found does not seem too appetizing.

Overall: B-