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A Gloss on Beck’s “Loser”

Posted in Glosses, Literature, poetry, Reviews, Useful with tags , , , on March 26, 2009 by xugro

In the time of chimpanzees, I was a monkey

In the beginning, we were all nonhuman primates. And in that blessed age, I was not as great as the apes. I was smaller, less attractive, and thus less prone to mating. So I turned to drugs, but was not as financially fortunate as others. I was resentful of their success and access to higher-grade controlled substances, while I was stuck with inhalants. That’s why there is

butane in my veins so I’m out to cut the junkie with the plastic eyeballs

Moreover, I coveted their everlasting supply of high-quality organic nutrients culled from local forests. One night, I had an idea: I’d get back at them with with the very dope they had forced me to use. I decided to

spray paint the vegetables

Fast forward to the present. After terrible millenia of evolution, things are not much different for us beta males. The alphas are still in power, but do not feed their pets well; further, they are prone to transvestism. In fact, it’s not uncommon to find

Dog food skulls with the beefcake pantyhose

Sometimes I like the feeling of emptiness after a long day. I’ll drive around at night with the windows closed and tune the radio to white noise. If I chance upon a stretch that’s abandoned enough, I

kill the headlights, and put it in neutral

and imagine myself as a race car driver. Such fantasies ultimately backfire and end with me aflame,

Stock car blazing with the loser in the cruise control

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